Sleep is for the Weak

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The above title was gleaned from a baby t-shirt phrase posted on Rohini's blog. It seems to be my motto in the last week. I know it can't last forever, though, so I am going to try and get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

PRAISE THE LORD!! - We have our hot water back! It's been turned off for the last three days, due to a leak in the bathtub from a cracked seat on the hot water side of the faucet. Thanks, Dad, for all the long-distance plumbing tech work. Have you thought about starting up your own 1-800 number, by the way? Also, Jason was really sorry about your double doozie last night--the Oilers winning AND the Flames losing? OUCH!

So, we all got to get clean tonight. Actually, Jason took an Indian-style bath last night, with a bucket of warm water and a cup. His comment after: "Imagine how much water we'd save if we bathed like this all the time!" Probably true, but I think I'm too addicted to hot showers. I loved my time in India, but the first two things that I did when I got home were take a hot shower and sleep on my soft foam mattress. It felt like a little piece of heaven.

Nothing further to report on the home renovation project, though. Thanks to having to do dishes by hand last night (two days worth--took me and Jason over two hours), and the afore-mentioned lack of sleep, not much has happened for the last couple of days. Yesterday it felt like all I did was run errands--I made two trips to the plumbing supply store and two trips to the hardware store. Not what I intended to do with my day.

Oh! Tonight I made Stuffed Red Peppers for supper. The recipe came from Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. Tres delicieux! (I don't know how to make the proper fancy accents on those words--anyone who does is free to leave instructions in the Comments section.) I've never made stuffed peppers before, and it was surprisingly easy. And yummy. That, along with the boiled corn on the cob, was one of the yummiest meals we've had in a while.

Jason had his first baseball game tonight. He's playing slowpitch with a group out in Grimshaw. He says they have some weird rules, but he had fun. I'm hoping we can get out to watch him a few times, too. It's hard, though, because they don't start until 8, and the kids need to be in bed by about 9 or the next day is not pretty for anyone.

Today, I got to have lunch with Naomi Livingston, a gal from Grimshaw that I've been getting to know. I have to admit, this is the first time in my life that I have started to feel the isolationism that can be so common amongst stay-at-home moms. It's all fine and good to get together with people in group settings, but a woman needs friends that she can spend one-on-one time with, and be able to have good heart-to-hearts with, and just BE with. I can feel myself crying out for that on the inside whenever I am having a casual conversation with someone at church, or Mom's Time Out. "Ask me to tea! Ask me to lunch! Just ask me anything! Let us talk about something more than the weather or whether our kids are healthy or not!" It's a weird feeling. Thank goodness for Amanda--the one person up here who really knows me, and whom I know. If it weren't for her, I'd probably end up in a soft padded room, naming the buttons on the jacket they wrapped me with and singing snippets from old show tunes to communicate.

Do men understand this? I know they need "guy time", too, which is why I'm so glad that Jason has been able to get out and play sports, and get together with Wes Burdick and Darryl Magnusson semi-regularly as well. But I think he gets a degree of socialization all day with his co-workers and clients. I, on the other hand, get to spend my day repeating everything 8 times to the child who never listens to the answer when he asks a question, or cleaning up after the child who suffers from passive rebellion (If I pretend I don't hear her, she'll probably just do it herself.), or trying to console the child who is too little to communicate except by crying. By the time Jason gets home, I'm desperate for an adult conversation, and to share my thoughts with someone who will listen, but usually we are both too tired to exert that kind of effort by the time we have wrestled all the kids into bed. Not to mention, my real work begins after they are safely tucked into their rooms--doing dishes, laundry, office work, and if I'm lucky, taking a little personal time. (For instance, I should probably have been catching up on office work instead of typing this, but procrastination can be such a creative force, you know?)

So, it is now 10:17 p.m. Will I be a good girl and go have my shower and be in bed by 11? Or will I find about a hundred things that need to be done and once again crawl into bed beyond exhausted at around 1 a.m.? Statistics say the second is the more likely event. But perhaps, I am too weak to do anything BUT sleep--just for tonight.

Even God rested on the seventh day. Maybe I should let that sink in for a night.

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  1. Blue days ... truly there is withdrawal after you've been with ones you love. That feeling of being loved and of being known is what makes a heart throb accordingly. Are you good at expressing your feelings aloud as they come? I find it VERY difficult but this month for the first time in a loooooong time I've tried to put into words my sadnesses to Mark as I feel them. I find it hard ... not so much because of pride but because I feel silly for how I feel. And so God does His slow and deep work in us.

    Wait a second! How do I jump off the deep end so quickly? EGADS!

    I look forward to you and to our chats via net. It has been encouraging to my soul.

    Love ya!

  2. Again.... you are my hero. Here in India, the one thing that is very affordable and accessible is domestic help. So other than tending to my son once I get back from work and a few odd jobs here and there I don't have to worry about chores like washing dishes and cooking meals. And I still feel so tired. I don't know how you do it...seriously!

  3. Man! You have so much on the go! Thanks for taking the time to post so I can know what's going on in your lives. I really love you guys! You're the best! Say hi to Jason for me. I'm really glad to hear he's playing baseball. Good luck Jay!

  4. Hmmmm.....sleep is also for the ones who want to stay healthy and LIVE long enough to see their kids grow up so they can take care of THEM!!!!!!
    'Nuff said!! ;)
    Love you forever!!

  5. Colleen--Easy to jump off the deep end when you're already there! Tee hee! Seriously, I'm becoming better at the expressing-my-feelings thing. I did actually ask to go to lunch with both the ladies I did lunch with this week, and was able to tell them how I'd been feeling. With Jason it can be harder, because I don't want him to feel condemned, but I usually find a way to do it on the important stuff.

    I know what you mean about the silly--but for me, I think that's part of the pride. My pride says I shouldn't feel this way, so I feel silly, too.

    Rohini--Last summer, we actually thought we would be moving to Bangalore in October, and I KNEW I was going to need domestic help. Frankly, I was looking forward to the extra pair of hands. Although I'm not sure that I would have been much further ahead. Over here, I consider a dishwasher a requirement, not an option, if you have a family. Ditto on the washer and dryer. When we first moved into this house in January, we were without a dishwasher for three weeks, and it felt like all I did with my day was cook and wash dishes! Yuck!

    Btw--working full-time, and being a mommy too, would make ANYONE tired, extra chores or no.

    Ang--Jason thanked you for the luck. Didn't seem to work though--they lost on both Tuesday and Thursday this week. Oh, well, at least he had fun. Love you, too, and miss you lots! Hope we'll see you soon!

    Laurel--you're such a mom sometimes. Love you anyway! ;-)


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