Blistering Blue Barnacles!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I was one of those kids that got teased in school, because in our house, words like "darn," "gee whiz" and "golly" were worthy of a mouth-washing.

While I have since added these mild expletives to my vocabulary (no longer equating them to taking the Lord's name in vain), I still got some incredulous looks when a co-waiter at a past restaurant job I held asked me if I ever swore, and I said, "Nope."

"So, when you stub your toe, what do you say?"

Scrunching my face, favouring my big toe, and with a pained voice, I responded, "OOOOWWWWW!"

"That's it?"

"Yep."

If singing a song that contains a curse word, I skip it or change it to something milder. (This doesn't really work in Alanis Morrisette's You Oughta Know, by the way. There are just no other one-syllable words that mean "to have sex with." When this line comes along, I usually mumble something unintelligible, floundering around for something more appropriate to use, and coming up empty--again!)

BUT!

If I have to kill one more d--- fly inside my frigging house, I think that all my #%# previous oral chastity will be *&@ thrown out the ^&*%$$ window!!!!

(Please no one point out that I want to be a missionary in an equatorial country, where they have household pests much worse than flies. I see the irony, all by myself. Thank you.)

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6 comments

  1. You are such a good girl - I have a potty mouth...I work at a steel company for crying out loud! I love this post...thanks for the laugh! Oh, and I am so trying the cranberry sauce, sounds awesome!

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  2. Sounds like me! Once in a while, under extreme duress, I have used a word not normally in my vocabulary, and then I feel so guilty!! But....I DO understand how those dad-gum flies can cause a person EXTREME DURESS!!
    Of course, these similarities between us are.....like......completely understandable??!!
    LY
    Mom
    PS. When you do end up in India, I will send you LOTS of fly strips or some other form of doing in the little pests!!

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  3. Beth - You're welcome, and you're welcome! It's tough not to talk like everyone else around you, isn't it? The closest I ever came to starting to use harsher language was when I worked successively in the restaurant industry and as a courier. Enjoy the sauce!

    Mom - "Dad-gum!" My goodness, don't stretch yourself too far there, Mom! ;-D

    I guess there might be something to that *mumble mumble*...genetic tendency...*mumble mumble* environmental causation...*mumble mumble*...

    It's the ants that get me in India. And the geckos. Do you have any gecko strips?

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  4. WOW I don't think I have ever seen you abrevate those words either!! Flys are super annoying. I'm a working on my mouth don't need my 2 year old saying oh #%%^!!

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  5. Right now it's the mosquitos that get to me. Not only is there a lot of malaria going around, there is absolutely no way to go to the park and not get chewed by atleast a dozen mosquitos...

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  6. Christa - I don't know what came over me. But fortunately, my two-year-old can't read yet, so I'm safe.

    Rohini - Yes, that would definitely be a concern--much worse than simply the peskiness of house flies. It's getting a bit chilly for mosquitos here, now, but I hate going out around dusk in the summer and getting eaten alive! And we don't even have to worry about malaria! (However, there is the "West Nile Virus" thing, now.)

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