I Heart My Kirby

Monday, February 19, 2007

If you had told me yesterday that today I would be spending more on a vacuum cleaner than the combined value of my first three cars, I would have laughed at you and warded you off like you were a crazy person.

Then today, I would have had to eat my foot.

If you had told me the same, even when Jesse, the shy vacuum salesmen rang our doorbell this morning, offering a free carpet cleaning, I would still have looked at you like you were a little daft in the head.

Yet, here I am, the proud new owner of one of the finest vacuum cleaners known to man: the Kirby. (For some reason, they don't have a picture of one on their website, and it's too dark in my house right now to get a good shot.) That's right, today we traded in our Firebird for a Porsche--not only does it look sleek, it has the horsepower to back it up! No longer will vacuuming be my nemesis! No. Instead, I will be seeking out opportunities to vacuum! I'll be vacuuming that carpet under the dining room table after every meal! I'll be shampooing the rugs every other week! I'll be...

Okay. Realistically, that's not likely to happen. But gone are the days when my cool-looking-but-totally-useless Dirt Devil and I would traverse the house together, me having to give it CPR, empty it and brush out the filter ("Come on, little guy, you can make it!"), creating a bigger cloud of dust to settle around the garbage can than when I started, after every single room. And get this--they took the DD on trade!! For more than we paid for it! I never knew I could trade in my old vacuum. I wonder if I could talk Dell into taking my old computer back when I want a new one?

So, why the total switch in attitude? Well, although I know the Dirt Devil has not inspired me to be the most faithful vacuumess ever, that had absolutely nothing to do with the piles and piles and piles of dirt, hair, junk, and grime that came out of--nay, from underneath--our living room carpet today.

And don't even get me started on the gook that came out of Jude's mattress.

Plus! We can use it as an air-gun to paint our fence this summer! (I'm serious!)

So. If I don't post tomorrow, it's because I'm happily (and sadistically) vacuuming the dust mites and their by-products from every mattress in our house.

Happy Monday, friends! What did you do this weekend?

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  1. Sounds like a way cool machine.

    Can you believe we don't even have a vacuum cleaner her at our home in Nairobi? But then, we only have about 30% of our floors covered with rugs.

  2. Proud Kirby owner of 11 years. We have the G4, my inlaws have the G3 and our dear friends and Colleens coworkers own the G5. What generation do you have?

    Only draw back for me is that the thing is so solid it is so heavy to lug around up and down stairs.

  3. Kirby?!? Wow!! I'm impressed!! Is it quiet in addition to all the other features?? Because my turbo Dirt Devil is loud enough to make my eardrums ring after using it for 5 minutes, let alone a whole house worth!! (Mind you, my half deaf husband is the one that purchased it without me being present.....I like your concept of the woman ...who usually USES the vacuum, doing the choosing!!) I went back and read your "vacuuming nemisis" post to refresh my memory, and giggled out loud over some of the responses to that one!! And the almost dead fly in the garbage can/heaven question!! LOL

  4. Wow, it sounds amazing! I have never even heard of one.

    I can just picture you, Talena, kissing it good night and patting it on the hose. Night night, Kirby. See you in the morning.

  5. This is for Colleen...
    Ask the Harveys about their vacuum...tis a Kirby

  6. Paul - Oh, yeah. You have no idea. And yes, I would believe it. (I spent 5 months in India. If I lived there, I would expect to have no vacuum, either.) Actually, until Dec. of '05, we did not even own a vacuum cleaner of any sort, either. We always had to beg, borrow or steal one when we needed to do our rugs. This might be where the beginnings of slippage in the vacuuming habit started.

    Peg - Umm... G, uh, G--hang on a sec, let me go check. ...


    I used that stinkin' thing all day, and it took me that long to figure out where to find the number: It's a G10E. 'Tis indeed solid, but thank goodness for the tranny that makes it easy to manouvre! (Who knew a vacuum could have a transmission?!)

    Mom - Definitely not as loud as those upright Dirt Devils. Those sound like a jet plane is taking off in your living room. Yesterday during the demo, we were vacuuming Jude's mattress, the living room, etc., and Jabin was sleeping on the other side of the wall the entire time. Does that tell you anything?

    Colleen - It is just about that bad! Yes, indeedy, my house has never been so clean and lovely, and I owe it all to Kirby. (We're on a first-name basis now, he and I.)

  7. We had a Kirby when I was growing up - Mom taught all of us kids the fine art of vacuuming with it! I wish I still had it for my home. I may consider it after we replace all the carpeting/flooring as we hope to do this year!

  8. Denise - It is a bit of an art, isn't it? Only 'cause that little machine can just DO so much! I've only owned mine for, um, three days now, and I'm not sure I could go back--WAY too much carpet and square footage in this house that needs to be kept clean. It's so nice to HAVE it clean, FINALLY! YIPPEEE! (I'm still in the honeymoon stage, obviously.)


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