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84,000

Saturday, August 04, 2007

84,000 is Jude's "number of choice" whenever he's trying to get across the concept of "a lot."

"How long until Daddy gets home?"

"A few more hours."

"84,000?"

"How far is it to Papa's house?"

"It's a really long drive, remember? It takes us all day."

"84,000?"

Or, when I comment, "You're getting really tall, buddy!"

"Yeah! I'm 84,000 tall!"

I don't know where he picked this number up from--one of his friends, probably. The funniest thing is, he really has no concept of any number over 10, and has no clue about units of measurement for time, height, distance, or anything else. Jason just playing along and saying "yep" probably isn't helping, either.

This week it seems we have accomplished 84,000 renovation projects, but in reality we are only at varying stages through three or four. Remember Max's room in Where the Wild Things Are? Remember how the carpet turned to grass and the trees grew up to the ceiling and it turned into a forest by the sea? That is, apparently, what is going on in our basement bathroom. When we lifted the linoleum down there to prep it for new flooring, we discovered a small lake that was harbouring a rather largish colony of black mold. And, lovingly wrapped around the base of our toilet was--I kid you not--a tree root. We diffused Young Living's Thieves blend of oil for a day in there to kill the mold, and the air is much clearer-smelling. Now I just have to go down there and clean up the mess. (Apparently, using chlorine bleach actually just drives the mold spores into the air where you can breathe them in, and the Thieves actually kills 99.96% of the spores.)

There's something more than a little unsettling about discovering that nature has invaded your domain so passive-aggressively. Most of the "something" has to do with the dollar signs adding up in your head to fix the problem--the little voice that is whispering in your head is fairly certain it will be somewhere in the area of $84,000.

I have heard that there is a magical, terrible moment that sometimes happens to people with very long, straight hair, when it suddenly develops a mind of it's own and instantaneously snarls so badly that almost the only way to solve the mess is to cut it all off.

That is what happened to my back last night, inconveniently right before our date. I was going along fine, minding my own business; I had just put the paintbrush away to get ready for the date--wrapping it carefully in a plastic bag so that later, I could easily pick up where I left off--when BAM! out of no where I could barely lift my arms. Somewhere in the middle of my back the muscles had snarled beyond recognition. Hopefully, complete amputation won't be necessary--just a massage from my honey should give a good jump-start on the healing process. (I suspect that my sexy new chocolate brown bra is the culprit, unfortunately. Sigh.)

This morning, unfortunately, it still hurts 84,000.

Happy Weekend, friends. Tell me something interesting about your week...

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12 comments

  1. The tree root is crazy! I can't even believe that.

    I always like to use big numbers like that with kids myself...they ask how many more bites and it's usually at least 57. I get the worst looks of disgust for saying those things!!

    Good luck on the renos!! I think we will have a bunch of little ones coming up soon ourselves!

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  2. Jude is hilarious! I love the random things kids say.

    I hope your shoulders and back "settle down". I might be next as I've been practicing my lettering on a big sheet in my hallway. Hopefully sometime next week I will begin actually painting it on the wall at our store. I'm excited but nervous!

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  3. Oh T, to only be a little closer. I should like to see that tree root... You can tell Jude Guteks live 85,000 away. Hugs!

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  4. Anne - At first, I read the "bunch of little ones" as meaning a multiple pregnancy, or perhaps your plans for future family expansion. Then I realized you were talking about renos, and tittered nervously to myself. Noah gave me a funny look, too.

    Anyway, it is totally fun to use large numbers with kids, because it doesn't really matter what number you use--they don't get it, anyway, and will simply ask you the same question again in about 84,000 nanoseconds.

    Colleen - Oooh! I'm so excited to see the outcome of that! If you would like, if it would help, you can transfer your nervousness to me, so all you have left is the excitement and won't have any apprehension tainting your anticipation.

    I think I'm going to start calling this "long word Saturday."

    Dawn - Ha ha! It's true, too. Sigh. Sadly, I was in such a state of shock that I did not pull out the camera before the tree root was removed and hauled away. You will all have to just take my word for it. And Mike's--he was the one who found it. Hugs back!

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  5. hee hee - you said "tittered". hee hee.

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  6. Colleen, it's going to evolve into sniggering pretty soon. Hee hee! Tee hee har har heh heh...

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  7. Hmm...I have heard of tree roots invading pipes but never wrapped around a toilet. Interesting.

    Why is it all the sexy bras seem to send random backs into spasms? Go figure.

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  8. I think I have to teach Jude the convincing precision of my number of choice: 84,582.67 Wait till he realizes decimals exist! I still use my random decimal numbers of choice ;)

    As for the back - I think it has been building up and finally went - nah, can't take it. Definitely take the massage from the honey but do visit an osteopath/myotherapist. They'll manipulate your muscles and get them de-snarled. Otherwise, the problem may aggravate.

    I've gone to them for back/neck/knee problems.

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  9. Sarah - This one likely came in through the pipe, and just went a little crazy once it got in here. Eep. I'm a little scared about checking what's in that wall behind it.

    Aakanksha - I have definitely been pondering a visit to the chiropractor. I have never even heard of a myotherapist.

    I just looked it up. If chiropractors do bones, myotherapists do muscles. Gotcha. Don't think we have any of those around here, but there are a plethora of massage therapists, which must be similar. Thankfully, the pain is abating after the mini-backrub I got yesterday and liberal use of Young Living's Pan-Away blend, but I still might avail myself of Jason's company benefits and get a massage this week.

    I heart you, Ace!

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  10. I think myotherapists are found primarily in Australia... cos London doesn't have them either.

    But osteopaths do muscles AND bones and can be found in almost all countries. I've never been to a chiropractor. (I prefer myo to osteo though).
    And thanks for hearting me. How many hearts are you attacking me with? Also, Have you showed your kids Mary Poppins yet?

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  11. Definitely do the massage thing!! It will help immensely!!
    Hmmm....I can't BELIEVE you didn't get a picture of the tree root before it got removed......actually, yes I can. Mike was doing the removing and it probably was there (after discovery), for a very SHORT period of time!
    LY

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  12. With Ayaan, it's 37 - he counts up to 10 and then suddenly there's 37!

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